Chapter 4: Fake it ‘till you make it? 

In 2013 a German heiress walked the streets of New York City. She was a woman of refined taste and style. She stayed in lavish hotels, dressed in the most exquisite fashion, and mixed with the highest echelon of the New York City elite. At the height of her New York City days, she nearly secured funding—some $5 million—for what she would call the Anna Delvey Foundation. If that name, “Anna Delvey,” sounds familiar it’s because she’s the main character in the Netflix show Inventing Anna. The TV series is based on a true story, but the story Anna was telling was not a true one. 

The truth is, Anna was not a German heiress. She was born in Russia, immigrated to Germany with her family at a young age, and at the age of 19 pursued a fashion degree in Paris. In 2013 she attended fashion week in New York City, writing for Purple magazine. She decided then to stay in NYC with a new last name: Delvey instead of Sorokin. 

The saga of Anna continues to this day. Even as I write this there are fresh articles about Anna’s dealings. Her story hit a cultural nerve. It epitomizes the ‘fake it till you make it’ mantra of our American culture. Interestingly, it’s also a story of being found out. Many of us tend to live in a nice little haunting collision of the mantra ‘Fake it till you make it’ and the real fears of ‘Imposter Syndrome’. Anna’s story strikes this nerve all too perfectly. 

Webster’s Dictionary defines Imposter Syndrome as, “A psychological condition that is characterized by persistent doubt concerning one’s abilities or accomplishments accompanied by the fear of being exposed as a fraud despite evidence of one’s ongoing success.” 

As humans, we are fascinated with identity, aren’t we? Who am I? Who/what am I supposed to become? What are the things that give me value? Am I enough? These questions haunt us. This gets us to this very real dichotomy: Who should we become? Are we who we say we are? We can only fake it for so long. 

When it comes to being a representative of Jesus, stating that you are one must coincide with the very real work being one. The old question, what comes first—the chicken or the egg—is fitting here. To represent Jesus well, there is a way one should act. There is also a formation that should happen due to your belief. A quick guide to how you should act can be found in Galatians 5, “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!” (‭‭Galatians‬ ‭5:22-23‬ ‭NLT‬‬). You can fake these things. Perhaps a better word for it is ‘force’. A person can force these kinds of actions out when the image they’re trying to portray demands it. The problem is, you can only force it, fake it, or pretend for so long. 

Anna Sorokin had the act down. She fooled some of the most well-to-do people in New York City. She wore the right clothes, knew which buttons to press to get people to like her, and knew how to win people’s respect—in short, she could talk the talk and seemingly walk the walk. Until the hotels and credit card companies started calling. The problem with being someone you’re not is that eventually you’ll get found out. Something always, eventually gives it away. 

Attending church isn’t what it used to be 

 I grew up at a time when going to church was still considered something that added moral value to a person’s reputation. In some circles that remains true, but it’s not as true as it once was. The term ‘hypocrite’ has been attached by many to those who walk through the doors of churches. And it’s not without good reason. Moral failures of evangelical church leaders have hit national media headlines with striking regularity. Your particular take on cultural flash-points (abortion, political party, etc.) has become a better indicator of whether you call yourself a Christian or not than moral character. These are tired truths that point to a sad reality: Church attendance and moral virtue are no longer assumed synonyms. 

Let’s not pretend that this wasn’t always the case. It’s only that the payoff for pretending has diminished. Because the payoff for pretending to be a Christian isn’t as high as it once was, people don’t tend to make such a fuss about it. The numbers don’t lie. For years the amount of people declaring to be Christian has dropped dramatically. It’s anecdotal, but I’m convinced there aren’t actually fewer Christians in America. There are fewer church attendees. These often overlap but are not the same thing. 

Sometimes people pretend. They claim the title—pretend to be a certain kind of person, but are not actually any different because of it. It’s not who they actually are, it’s just a title they hold. Unless it has transformed them, people tend to hold onto titles like they wear brands. When it goes out of fashion, it stops being something you wear for everyone to see. Here’s the point: People have always pretended. 

Faking it has consequences. 

The trouble with faking it is, you get the accolades but you miss out on the substance. 

Simon had a terrifying encounter on account of this. We meet Simon in Acts 8. He was the well-respected type. People sought him out. There was something magical about him. When people spent time with him, they were astounded by what he could do. The town had a name for him and it was about as flattering as you get: “Everyone, from the least to the greatest, often spoke of him as “the Great One—the Power of God.” They listened closely to him because for a long time he had astounded them with his magic” (Acts of the Apostles‬ ‭8:10-11‬ ‭NLT‬‬). Can you imagine? That’s a whole lot of reason to keep up the charade. You don’t admit your magic is nothing more than fancy parlor tricks when it’s what keeps you powerful. 

To his credit, Simon recognized real power when he saw it. Philip, a follower of Jesus, showed up in Samaria because the persecution had gotten really bad in Jerusalem. Immediately he began teaching about Jesus. Not only did Philip teach about Jesus, he did the actual miraculous. He sent away evil spirits. He healed many paralyzed or lame people. The city suddenly saw real power, not cheap magic tricks and it took hold. It says many people believed in the message of the Kingdom of God and Jesus and were baptized. Not only that, Simon himself believed and was baptized. He began following Philip wherever he went. 

Word of what was happening in Samaria got back to the apostles in Jerusalem, so they sent Peter and John—the head honchos—to check things out. This is where it gets interesting. When Peter and John showed up it says, “As soon as they arrived, they prayed for these new believers to receive the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit had not yet come upon any of them, for they had only been baptized in the name of the Lord Jesus. Then Peter and John laid their hands upon these believers, and they received the Holy Spirit” (Acts of the Apostles‬ ‭8:15-17‬ ‭NLT‬‬). In the tradition I’m part of, we don’t tend to talk about the power that comes from the Holy Spirit as often as other traditions, but leaving that debate for another time and place let’s suffice it to say something powerful happened and God’s Holy Spirit inhabited people in powerful and amazing ways. How do I know that? Because of what happens next. 

Simon watches what happens and is beside himself with excitement. I imagine he thought to himself, “This is it! This is my ticket back into the position I once held in this community. I can be powerful again!” So, what does he do? He does the natural thing that anyone would do who knows how things work in the real world—he reaches for his wallet. Taking out his money he walks up to Peter and John and says, “Let me have this power, too, so that when I lay my hands on people, they will receive the Holy Spirit!” (Acts of the Apostles‬ ‭8:19‬ ‭NLT‬‬). 

I have to admit, when I read those words, I feel for Simon. The guy is trying to do a good thing. He just wants to be at the center of it. He wants to profit from it. And by profit I’ll even give him the benefit of the doubt—he just wants to keep his title as “the Great One – The Power of God.” That’s why I’m always a little taken aback by what happens next: 

But Peter replied, “May your money be destroyed with you for thinking God’s gift can be bought! You can have no part in this, for your heart is not right with God. Repent of your wickedness and pray to the Lord. Perhaps he will forgive your evil thoughts, for I can see that you are full of bitter jealousy and are held captive by sin.”

‭‭- Acts of the Apostles‬ ‭8:20-23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Yikes! That’s harsh. 

Again, to Simon’s credit, he immediately asks Peter to pray that this doesn’t happen to him. But can you imagine how long these words echoed in his memory?

I feel a little bad for Simon. Maybe that’s heresy, but I’m not going to pretend with you. His world got turned upside down. He recognized something amazing in the message of Jesus. He wanted to participate, so he did what he’d probably always done—opened up his checkbook. His actions were quite logical. 

There’s just one problem, that’s not how God works. Our world says that it’s always all about what you can project or what you can get. Simon began his career projecting. He projected an image of strength, confidence, and wisdom. When the apostles’ power eclipsed those projections of power, his self-preserving plan switched from what he could project to what he could get.

The story of Anna Sorokin isn’t much different. It all began with what she could project. It was in her clothes, her demeanor, her social acuity. Eventually, that stopped being enough. That’s when she needed to switch to what she could get: a building with her name on it. No matter how many strings she tried to pull, Anna’s bank account bankruptcy ultimately proved too high a barrier, and the facade she’d built her life behind quickly crumbled. 

It was Simon’s bankrupt character that cost him. As much as we try to believe it and live like it, what we own, what we can do or accomplish, our net worth, our job title, who our friends are—none of these things are who we are. At a fundamental level, who we are has everything to do with our character. Peter saw Simon’s true character, and it was not yet ready for the responsibility and privilege of what Simon wanted to purchase. 

Character Formation 

There’s a strange irony in all of this: To become good, you must first stop pretending to be good. Faking it ‘til you make it presupposed that you can make it. You can’t. Neither can I. And this is a foundational pillar to our guiding principle: Representing Jesus Well. In order to represent Jesus well, you simply cannot fake it. 

The Christian faith has always had a certain moral uprightness to it. People who are Christians should be developing a character that is more in line with Jesus. But there’s an upside-down way that Christianity goes about doing this. For most life philosophies or religious traditions, trying harder is the key to success. That’s not the case for followers of Jesus. The first step for developing moral uprightness and strength of character for a Christian is to admit a lack of moral uprightness and strength of character. 

But it doesn’t stop there. Not only should a Christian admit their moral inferiority and questionable character, the very next step is acknowledging their need for Jesus’ help in setting right those parts of themselves. We’ll get to how this plays out more in future chapters, but there’s a part of character formation that has everything to do with emptying yourself. 

When you fake a certain kind of moral and character virtue, you are pretending to be full when you’re not. The only thing that can fill you up, you can’t purchase. It’s not for sale. It’s too valuable. It’s a gift. To be a representative of Jesus, humility must be close at hand. 

Imposter syndrome is real. Being exposed is a frightening thing. Often imposter syndrome is misplaced. We’ve received the education. We’ve endured the experiences required to do a job well. God has placed us in a position where our talents, experiences, and gifts make us the exact person God has for that particular role. 

But imposters exist. Like Simon, they will project power and achievements, toting their superior abilities as reasons for their success and God-ordained position. When that doesn’t work, they’ll open up their pocketbook or, like Anna Sorokin, use every tool available to maintain their standing or reputation.

If you feel like an imposter, there’s a clear step to ensure you’re not living as one—Surrender. Throw up your hands, and tell God you need His grace. Stop projecting or thinking your accomplishments make you more valuable or important to God. Realize that your value does not come from any of those things. Instead, it comes from being a child of God. And like any child, God has a way of loving, caring, disciplining, and guiding His children. You cannot be an imposter when you surrender to God working in you and you give up the act and parlor tricks that used to make you feel important. 

Salvation and new life comes from humbly surrendering to the gift of Jesus’ forgiveness and redemption. 

You can only fake it for so long. And you can’t make it by faking it.